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The International Star Registry

starOne of the most embarrassing gifts on the market both for the giver and receiver would have to be the product offered by the International Star Registry, (ISR). The company boasts having been around since 1979, and charges somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty dollars to sell the customer something they cannot own, and that no one else (and I mean no one) will ever actually associate with the recipient. For those who don’t know what I’m referring to, ISR offers to name a star after the individual of the customer’s choice, in exchange for a rather significant fee. The giftee will also (or rather only) receive a certificate (which could be made on anyone’s computer in about five minutes), and a star chart “to locate their star.” I keep waiting for this sca… uh company, to disappear entirely, but every so often the commercials start popping up again.

Here’s another important factor: the International Astronomical Union, you know, the actual scientists who study stars and give them names (which are largely numbers by the way) are in no way associated with the International Star Registry. Perhaps some customers envision astronomers staring through a telescope and exclaiming to a colleague “wow! Mary’s star is bright tonight! Did you know that Mary’s star was named for her by her husband on the anniversary of their first date?! She must be a very special lady!” Sorry to burst any bubbles out there but that doesn’t happen… ever.

The fact is anyone can claim to name anything for a fee, and by including the words “international” or “foundation” one can add instant credibility. For instance, I’m starting an organization called the International Foundation for the Naming of Interstellar Bodies. And to demonstrate my belief in my new company, I’m going to name the first star after myself. And I choose… the big Star I can see during the Day! The great thing is I don’t even need a chart to locate my Star!

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