Activists Hold Funeral in the Frozen Foods Department… Just in Time for Thanksgiving

by admin on November 24, 2014

in Tyler Businesses

Stupid me! I just finished watching a video of animal rights protestors interrupting people’s everyday lives while chanting and carrying signs. Unfortunately my son was sitting right next to me (we were laughing), and now he’s adopted the tactic, i.e. chanting endlessly to get what he wants. It won’t work for him either.

The story I’m referring to involves some new radical animal rights group based (wait for it), out of California. I won’t mention their name so as not to give them any more notoriety, (not that my little bit would really help, but I’m desperate for a way to lash out at these people). The group is employing a new tactic, holding impromptu funerals for frozen foods in the meat and deli aisle of local grocery stores. Yeah, you… you read that correctly. And here’s another sad fact: they’re proud of themselves; so much so in fact, that they’ve posted the videos on you tube. While watching I experienced a whole range of emotions, none of which were the ones intended by the group by the way. At first I simply laughed, and I laughed hard. And then my son laughed. I then I blurted out what idiots these people were which required me to explain to my six year old why they were idiots, and that took a while because frankly, my list was pretty long.

But then my mood went from being amused to exasperated when I watched the preachy sanctimony on display in those vids. I was virtually overcome with the desire to throw some of the vegan’s precious vegetables at them. (Actually I love vegetables as well so… maybe some canned foods would be better). Fortunately I guess, none of the shoppers actually responded that way. The poor store owners, whose day was being thoughtlessly interrupted, tried to get the wack… uh protesters out of the building. Most just laughed and tried to go about their business. But then I had another thought. What are these deranged demagogues going to do when they realize that no one’s listening?

Well, in the meantime I plan to celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional way this year. The bodies of the dead, (namely turkey, ham and whatever else), will be purchased from a local establishment which trades in the frozen bodies of dead animals. On returning home they will be partially cremated, just until golden brown and still juicy. At which time family and friends will gather to sacrifice by consuming the perfectly seasoned flesh, while enjoying violent a spectacle which will be broadcast on nationwide television. My Thanksgiving Day turkey will be survived by the left overs in my refrigerator.

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