I was recently researching for a geology paper I was writing when I came across a very unusual business. While reading on synthetic diamonds and gyms I discovered a company called “Life Gem,” that grows precious stones from the cremated remains of loved ones who have passed on.
The process, by which synthetic or “cultured” stones are created, is essentially the same as the natural one. Heat and pressure are applied to carbon molecules. Only the synthetic process takes about four days as opposed to four million years. Interestingly the manufactured variety can be superior in some respects than their natural sisters; however they are considerably more inexpensive up against comparable stones.
Life Gem has found a way to make the process of diamond buying infinitely more personal. The carbon used in the formation of Life Gem’s stones is of course carbon taken from the hair or ashes of the diseased. The website reads like it was written by a funeral home director. It offers testimonials from satisfied customers who found comfort in their new rings, pendants and other jewelry, claiming that it helped them to deal with their grief and feel closer to those they had lost.
Oh and those enthusiastic pet owners among us with more money than they know what to do with… well, you guessed it. They can also work the same magic if your lost loved one happens to have four legs. By the way the company firmly insists that the remains, (I’m not really comfortable with that term in this context), or carbon left in their care is meticulously documented and tracked in order to avoid loss or confusion. I personally know of no reason to distrust them on this point.
I have to say I find the whole process rather off- putting. It’s like a modern twist on the medieval relic. I wonder why the same process couldn’t be used to make wedding rings for the living. The Bride and groom could each donate a lock of hair and have rings made to commemorate their love whilst both still live; still creepy somehow, but a little less so. Despite my admittedly ill- informed opinion, the business has found a market. The process is not terribly cheap by the way, but for some people it is a fitting memorial to those they’ve lost. To each his own I guess, but I think I’ll settle for a wake and a nice head stone. For more on Life Gem visit their webpage at http://www.lifegem.com.
I have been amazed, and admittedly annoyed by the energy bracelet scam. It seems every few months some ugly new jewelry product is unveiled that promises to in some way harmonize the energy of the wearer, and promote greater balance, increased energy, a generally more tranquil mind, and so forth and so on. Actually, one reviewer I read made an excellent point. The advertisers don’t promise those results directly, but instead promise to inspire those results! I watched a lot of promo vids for these things on YouTube. Eventually I had to stop for a couple of reasons. First off, I actually do have a life. Secondly, I was starting to become annoyed by the research subjects and lastly, and most importantly, the demos are all the same! Evidently these energy jewelers are at least partially multi- level managed. The vids all featured some salesmen who had set up a both at some job fair or other, performing ridiculous and absurd balance tests on passersby.
Magnetic Bracelets
I found about five different companies producing energy jewelry, or at least five different names for the same company. In addition to a bracelet and necklace, one company offered holographic stickers (Cia Aura) it claimed possessed some kind of magnetic charge. These are supposedly a favorite of surfers who stick them to either end of their boards to help improve their balance. Allegedly the water passing over the stickers recharges their energy. I understand aspiring golfers are also partial to this product. As I watched these compelling infomercials my next question became: Do people really buy these things?! While researching for this article I did find comments by supposedly satisfied customers defending the products, but of course I have no way knowing that they didn’t work for one of the companies marketing the stuff. Patrons claimed results like increased energy and the disappearance of aches and pains. Certainly the degree to which they did experience a change can be chalked up to the placebo effect. Thanks but I think I’d rather take my chances with a television faith healer! As silly as I find the Snuggy, I’m pretty sure it probably does what the ads say it does; keep the wearer warm, and allow him or her to move their arms freely. I do not however come anywhere near believing any of the claims made by the energy jewelers. If you’re looking for an energy boost, greater balance or a sense of well being I suggest trying an energy drink, vitamin supplement and regular church attendance. I’m sure you’ll be amazed by the results!
As a conservative East Texan I’ve been a fan of talk radio since I started listening in the late nineteen eighties and early nineteen nineties. Over the last few years I’ve been a dedicated listener of KTBB AM 600, and now more recently 99.3 FM. In fact even as I type this I do so while listening to the news and information delivered by talk radio. My addiction has annoyed my more liberal acquaintances who refuse to ride in my car knowing that I prefer politics to music.
Overall, my love of talk radio has been a staple of my life that has endured a lot. I have been derided from time to time as a right winger. I have traveled across country surfing the radio dial looking for the conservative station in whatever city I happen to be passing through. I have also endured the cancellation of my local favs from time to time. But none of these has dampened my enthusiasm for my favorite medium. I must confess however, that there is one issue above all others which has robbed me of some enjoyment of my local stations. That issue has a name… she is known simply as Judy!
Regular listeners, who read this, know immediately of whom I type. Of course, I’m referring to Judy of “Jim’s Jewelers.” I’m rarely ever in the market for jewelry, but my beef is really more with Judy herself and not Jewelry Stores. Evidently she see’s her ads as a vehicle to achieving status as a local Tyler celeb. I’ve actually seen her face on television promoting community projects. If I was responsible for the kind of advertising that she is, I wouldn’t be showing my face at the local Valero let alone on TV.
Her ads are often particularly insulting to the masculine audience, insisting that they buy diamond jewelry for the women in their lives in order to make up for their love of football or some other boorish behavior inherent to being male. She constantly assumes that the men in the audience can actually afford her wares but deny them to the women they allegedly love, simply out of thoughtlessness. The most insulting approach I’ve heard Judy take was when she encouraged women to wait until their husbands were engrossed in a ball game, and then go buy Jim’s tacky jewelry on their own. Can she also recommend a good divorce attorney?
The fact is what rankles me most about Judy’s work is the condescending seesaw delivery of her lines. When put against the background of that unmistakable music, it’s enough to make me want to turn into oncoming traffic. I’m pretty sure she’s contributed to numerous road rage episodes in East Texas. All told I hope the local radio station is charging her through the nose. If they’re going to put their audience at risk (and they do) they should at least be compensated for their boldness. As for me, I will continue to turn the channel during the Jim’s ads. Hopefully for KTBB, I and others like me will remember to turn it back. For more information on KTBB, go to the Tyler Blog section of the site and look for the title “National Politics and Local Coverage.” Also, see their website at www.ktbb.com.
