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Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Salesmen in Tyler

February 21st, 2012

It seems like an odd job to be a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman. It’s an over-priced item and the salesman has to basically barge in the door to get someone to listen to his spill. I’m sure after the salesman barges in, no one has a positive attitude about buying the product.

If you’ve lived in Tyler long enough I’m sure you have experienced a Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman knocking on your door. So I’m curious what your response was. Please leave a comment of your story. I had an interesting story of the Tyler Kirby salesman.

I answered the door after a very LOUD knocking. There were two guys at the door. One guy started speaking a million miles an hour of how he could come in and clean my house for free and I could receive a free stain remover spray bottle. I told them that I had wood floors and my dad has a huge commercial carpet cleaner so I would not be buying a vacuum from them.  I’m not really sure why but for some reason I felt like it’d be rude to say no. His pleading of letting him just give his spill and vacuum my house was somehow convincing.

Once he got the vacuum in my house the other guy took off somewhere. I reminded him that I wouldn’t be buying one but he insisted that was fine.
He started to vacuum my wood floor under the couch and all around the living room then removing these paper circles and looking at me with a weird expression. What was I supposed to say “oh no! There’s dust in my house! I’m going to die!”

Maybe this really gets to people. Maybe some people are shocked to see a vacuum cleaner remove dirt from under their couch. I know my house is dirty. Whoopty doo!

He said “you wouldn’t want to give birth in a hospital with this much dust”. I told him actually I wouldn’t mind having a home birth. I think he wanted to freak me out by finding a bunch of dirt. He vacuumed the curtains which were clean but when he vacuumed the top of the ceiling fan he found dust and was showing me how dirty it is. It’s not like buying this vacuum is going to make my house cleaner. My ceiling fan was dirty because I didn’t clean it not because I didn’t have a Kirby.

I do have carpet in my bedroom but I wasn’t comfortable with a strange man going into my bedroom. He asked me what I thought was the place with the most germs. I said under our fingernails. He said it was the mattress. I told him that he couldn’t go into the bedroom and he said then he couldn’t show me. He had a magnified picture of a dust mite. He explained that dust mites live in my house and poop in my mattress. I just responded by telling him that I love to eat dust mite poop when I go to bed because it boosts my immune system. I sensed that he didn’t like my sarcasm.

He showed me all the impressive things about the Kirby that is unlike any other vacuum cleaner, such as: it is metal and not plastic so it would last longer, it is more powerful than other vacuums (it could lift up the rug), the suction comes from the middle instead of the side, etc.

He told me that I could have the vacuum for “only a dollar a day” which is basically the same as buying a soda at the gas station. Hmmm a dollar a day that’s 30 bucks a month. That’s a lot of money for a vacuum. I don’t want to be making payments on a vacuum cleaner. I got on my computer and showed him that it sells for a lot less online but he said that those were either stolen or used. He said that I didn’t want a used vacuum because that’s just like using someone else’s toothbrush.

Well eventually my new baby started to get hungry and I needed to nurse. I told him that he needed to leave now. He tried to push the sell on me and I reminded him that I said that I wasn’t going to buy it. He called the other guy and they both tried to put a guilt trip on me because they did this presentation and supposedly even cleaned my house and I’m not buying it and the poor guy has to make a living off his commissions. The other guy pointed out that we pay for dish so we have the money to pay for this Kirby. Give me a break! This guy was starting to get on my nerves and my baby was getting hungry. He asked to use the restroom and I showed him where it was. After he came out, he was just looking around my house. I basically had to kick them out of my house.

So what do you do when the Kirby man comes a knocking on your door? I’m thinking the next time they come I just won’t answer the door.

Sonic

January 8th, 2010

Things are changing and it is nowhere more evident than at the Tyler Sonic drive through. During the drive through and drive up restaurant hay day of the nineteen fifties the average suburban family survived exclusively on root beer floats and cheeseburgers, congregating at the Sonic, like desert wildlife nourishing their bodies in the watering hole’s life giving root beer floats and cheeseburgers. Any given night at the Sonic was nothing less than the beginning of a summer long drag race musical.

These days, however, Sonic blends into the multitude of fast food chains all trying desperately to relive the same era. But no matter how bad everyone wants to go back to the nineteen fifties we will eventually have to accept our fate instead of living in the fast food past. This brings us to the denial facing Sonic, which is mainly that it sees itself as some sort of quality restaurant.

Unfortunately, Sonic has spent the money required for this on its comedy abortion, “two guys in a car commercial” shoveled down my eye throat three or four times a day. To switch topics for one second, there are about six hundred thousand students out there who could make a better commercial with nothing but their iPhones. But no number of eager undervalued students could salvage Sonics mediocre at best menu. You see, when you take out of account the things that are impossible to do wrong, such as, corn dogs and milkshakes, Sonic is revealed as nothing more than a slightly above average McDonalds, and no one should eat at McDonalds.